The Embarrassing Dialogues: Episode 1

So I've decided to record my embarrassing moments for posterity. And I suppose for you all out there in case they make you laugh.

Episode 1 brings us to the AJ Stake Center on Sunday night. It was the Stake Music Fireside, and several ward choirs were singing Christmas numbers. Our ward choir has a tradition of matching outfits. You wear red or black.

Well, in my haste to make it to my mom's Sunday dinner and back to AJ by 7:00, I completely forgot about this stringent dress code.

I showed up in a bright turquoise shirt, a jean jacket, and a white skirt. When I realized the mistake, I was horrified. I scanned the audience, looking for one more person from my ward who made the same blunder. Nothing.

As we found our standing place to sing, there I was. Front and center. Turquoise and not proud of it.

Symbolic? Maybe. Maybe I never was a conformist. A secret rebel, perhaps? No. Just incredibly forgetful.

It's time to pull out the fish oil and Ginko Biloba pills for more brain power. But for now, I am a living example of the phrase, "Did you get the memo?"

Shopping obsession and a parade

The coats I will mention in a sec. This is another pic of my mom and Lacey, this time, with a dress she got from my friend Brynn. I'm tellin ya, I can't keep this up. This whole "taking-pictures-of baby-in-every-outfit thing" cannot go on for my second child. I'm always thinking, "Should I photo document how cute she looks in this too? " What if I missed something? I don't have the RAM for this obsession.

Speaking of obsessions, I need to get control. Anybody have a problem with shopping for that perfect item, and even exhanging something two or three times until you think you get it right? And then once you settle on something, it still bothers you that maybe you should've gotten the other thing?

No? You haven't felt that way? Then maybe I am OCD. The two items I'm still all torn about are the two coats above. They were the same price, on sale. The leather one I thought was adorable. It has fur on on inside but it's not very thick. I bought the puffy one. I thought it would be thicker and warmer for when I do walks around the neighborhood. BUt it's hard to buckle her in her carseat with it on. If you can say anything that helps me think I made the right decision, please do.

Maybe the baby would drool on the leather one. Maybe I can buy her one like it next year or the year after. Maybe I need to do some stinkin community service so I'm not so darn materialistic.

This hat looks like a beret when it's supposed to look like a cute cap like the one the teacher from the show "Glee" wears. One day I will get the perfect hat.

We went to the Electric Light Parade in Phoenix. It was FRIGID that night. The baby screamed her head off. I forgot one of her shoes and her little socked feet were cold and I had that "Mother GUILT" we all get sometimes.


This was obviously, "Pre-Furry-Brown-Coat". As you can guess, the obsession with the coats came partly as a result of the "guilt" mentioned above.

Go to this parade someday! Freeze but enjoy the large balloons, lit-up high school band uniforms, lit-up cars, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio riding in a fire truck. I seriously feared for his life as we were on 7th street and Indian school.

The End

The First Crawl of '09

Look at that face! She was thinking about crawling. But she also gets OCD on her one-wheeled bumble-bee toy.

Here goes! Starting position!

Crawl in action. (The first time was Sunday--this is a day or two later)

Hanging out with Grandma after church.

I Broke the Law and the Law Won

So yesterday morning I had an incident. I come home from baby sitting every morning and have two routes I can go home. If I go one way I may run into a large bus loading about 40 kids in our neighborhood. I don't want to be stuck behind this bus so I tend to go the other way,

Well, yesterday I went the bus way for some reason unbeknownst to me. I see the last few kids getting on the bus. I see the stop sign. But yet I slowly creep my car past the sign. Hoping not to get in trouble.

Two minutes later my doorbell rings. I thought there was an off chane that it was an irate person and thought maybe I shouldn't answer the door.

But there she was. Mouth in a grimace. Ready to give me a tounge lashing. I'm holding Lacey in my arms and this lady exclaims, "Are you aware of the law of the stop sign on the bus???" I was thrown off so I just said, "I forgot." I am extremely ashamed to admit that was a fib. She replied, Oh you forgot, huh?" She was very angry.

"Well several of the parents and the busdriver are really upset 'cause we see you do this all the time!!!" Not true! That was only possibly the 2nd time I did it and it was awhile ago.

"Well, if it was your kid riding the bus and I did it to you, how would you feel?????" she exclaimed. So I decided to use a tactic my mom uses that allows you do not be a doormat but to make the person look dumb for yelling. I killed her with kindness.

"Didn't I meet you at the pool one time?" and then, "Thank you so much for telling me. Thank you so much for coming over." This made her even angrier and she walked off in a huff, saying "Your welcome."

So 10 minutes later I get a call from my friend in my ward who saw the lady literally run after my car. Psycho! She told me this woman is known to get on people's cases a lot.

All I could think about later is how guilty I felt for doing it, but also all the comeback lines I could have used on her.

The ironic part: My husband's a busdriver and he calls the police on people sometimes who run his stop sign.

Now all you parents out there whose kids ride the bus, I'm so sorry! I will never do it again. I made a mistake.

And all you psycho yellers out there: Power trips will never give you joy. And don't take the law into your own hands. Let the police do it. And if you ever come on my property again and yell at me in front of my child, I may tee pee your house.

Old McDonald Had a Farm

And on that Shnepf Farm he had some corn.

He also had a small train to ride, bu lacey didn't ride it.

He had some hay to crunch on.

He had some punpkins to crouch on.

The littler pumpkins made a more comfy seat.

Cameron was the brains behind all these photos.

Lacey quite enjoyed herself.

One the first family photos ever.

And this is at our ward Trunk or Treat. My costume was thrown together 45 minutes before the thing started. I tried to make cornbread but it turned out flat and hard as a rock. Story of my life. I need cooking lessons!

Lacey was adorable.

The Tale of the Missing Adhesive

The tale begins with a flu shot. Little Lacey Lee never had a flu shot before. She waited for her doctor's appointment with heavy anticipation. She knew her stomach was acting up. Was it the chocolate bars her mom always eats? Perhaps that piece of bacon wrapped around a green chili at the neighbor's Halloween party. Whatever it was, Lacey hoped the doctor would set her mom straight on her eating habits.

The end of the appointment comes and "Oh no! What's that sharp thing aimed at my leg??? OW!!" The shot went in. But Lacey soon got over it and gazed curiously at her new red Crayola crayon bandaid.

At about 12:00 pm when her mom got Lacey out of the car after the appointment, the bandaid was missing. "Hmmm," she wondered. Then she promptly forgot about it.

Lunch time! Lacey was eating morsels of wheat bread. But they kept on making her cough. Her eyes watered. She even threw up a little! Mom was worried that her previous skillful bread chewing had temporarily come to an end. "Why can't she chew it anymore?" Lacey nursed and then got tired.

At one point in the day Lacey was laughing and her mom thought she saw something red and black on the roof of Lacey's mouth. "Naw. There's nothing there," she reasoned.

Lacey took a 2 hour nap. She dreamed of dogs, water fountains, and Cheetos.

At 5:00 it was dinner time. Again, the bread. Again, the choking.

"How about some chomping-of the-tv-remote time?" Lacey's mom said.

So they sat on the recliner and Lacey chomped away. Suddenly, without warning, a wet limp item landed on the mom's arm. "What IS that?"

She looked down. And there it was. The red Crayola bandaid. The bandaid that had been attached to the roof of Lacey's mouth for over 5 hours.

Here is the evidenec. The very bandaid following its residence in Lacey's mouth.



We're currently looking for a school for mothering. First class of the day, "The Dangers of Choking."

Tutus or Too toos?

Another cute pic from the photo shoot